the Great Theatre Caper
by Penny Lane
Summary: "Frasier" cast becomes the Scooby Doo Gang!! Please Read and Review! This is probably my best work!!........... so far.


"the great theatre caper"  
  
premises: what would happen if the cast of "Frasier" became the crew of Mysteries, Inc.  
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scene 1- the Crane's Apartment  
  
"Niles! Niles! What do you mean by 'you cannot make it'?" stammered the allusive Dr. Frasier Crane. "We made the reservations three weeks ago. How could you forget? Listen! Dad, Daphne, and Roz have been looking forward to this night. You wouldn't want to let them down, now would you? You wouldn't want to let down Daphne now would you?" Dr. Crane coaxed. " That's what i thought. See you at seven." With that, Frasier Crane replaced the telephone to its holder.  
  
"Frasier! A throaty voice called from the back bedroom.   
  
"Yes, Dad?"  
  
"I can't get this tie to tie!"   
  
"I'm coming!" he said as he headed for the back of his home.  
  
While fixing Martin Crane's tie, "Dr.Crane!!!!!!!!" a frightened voice screamed from another room. Startled, Frasier took off to investigate. He entered a room on the opposite end of his home. Finding his father's live-in physical therapist white as a ghost, he said, "Daphne, are you all right? what's going on? what happened?"  
  
"I had one of my visions." Frasier Crane scoffed at this remark.  
  
"Your visions? That's why you were screaming like a bancshee? Good God!! You nearly caused a myocardial infarction!"  
  
"Don't you even want to know what is was about?"  
  
"I suppose." he hesitated while looking at his watch. "But not now. We are supposed to meet Niles and Roz at the theatre in a half hour."  
  
"But that's just it! we can't go to the theatre!" she cried. "if we go to the theatre, someone's going to die!"  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"As Antigonus gets eaten by a bear, someone is really going to die!"  
  
"Daphne, i think you are beginning to blur dreams with reality." he persuaded. "Besides. what could possibly happen? the bear turns on the audience and eats the director?"  
  
"That's not funny." she retorted as martin Crane entered the room.   
  
"Not that I actually care about this play but we are going to be late." Martin Crane interupted.  
  
"Let's go. we'll worry about the bear later. Besides that scene doesn't occur until an hour and forty-five minutes in to it." Frasier Crane announced very matter of factly.  
  
"You mean i have to sit for an hour and forty-five minutes!" Martin Crane whined.  
  
"Actually, that's only the first act."  
  
~TBC~  
  
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the great theatre caper  
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scene 2- the theatre  
  
"I'm not very familiar with this play," an elegantly dressed Roz Doyle said.  
  
"Why does that not surprise me?" Niles Crane responded.  
  
"Watch it you little ferret!"  
  
"No fighting tonight, children!" Frasier Crane intervened.   
  
"She started it." Niles complained.  
  
"I did not." Roz retorted sharply.  
  
"I don't care who started it. Just finish it now!", he demanded. "Roz, you were saying, you are not very famiiar with this play?"  
  
"That's right. will you explain it to me?"  
  
"well, it the tale of a jealous king and ............." he began to rattle on. Daphne Moon sat quietly in her chair as the comotion of the filling theatre did not seem to phase her. she kept thinking of that horrible vision she had had. it had been so real and so elaborate. if only they had listened. she had never been wrong before concerning a vision; they always came true. never before had one been so extreme. no one had ever died in one.  
  
"you look ecsquisite tonight, my love." Niles Crane said to his girlfriend Daphne. No response. "Daphne? Is something bothering you?" Still no response. "Daphne? Darling?" just then the lights began to flicker in the house. Five minutes til show time. the house was packed with Seattle's elite. A rumor was spreading that Bill Gates, himself, was present among the crowd. the lights in the house went dark. the curtain raised. Actors began to shine on the stage. Frasier, Niles, and Roz sat and watched attentively. A little movement came from Martin Crane's coat. A small Jack Russell terrier emerged from his overcoat pocket. This was Eddie; Martin had snuck him in. Daphne Moon sat in a state of panic.   
  
as the storm in the play coincided with the faint sound of thunder from outside, Daphne Moon knew she had a job to do. this was the scene. The bear scene. Antigonus was going to die. Martin Crane had chosen this part to take a nap. Daphne stood up and backed out of their box seat. Eddie followed her. "Where did you come from?" she questioned the dog. "You have to help me find that man." The dog barked. "Shhhhhhh!!!! or they'll find you!" The dog obeyed. Menawhile back at the box seat, Martin snoozed as intermission fell. The lights came up and to the Crane clan surprise, Daphne was gone.  
  
"Has anyone seen Daphne?" Niles questioned.   
  
"She's your girlfriend. You're supposed to keep track of her." Roz laughed.  
  
"Dad? Have you seen Daphne?" Niles asked.  
  
"She left with Eddie about fifteen minutes ago." he responded in a groggy voice.   
  
"Eddie? Go back to sleep, Dad."   
  
"Okay." Martin Crane said as he fell back fast asleep.  
  
"I think I know where she went." Frasier Crane hesitated.   
  
"Where?"   
  
"I'll tell you later. She'll be back soon. Mark my words."  
  
Roz stood in the archway and said, "I will be right back." Then left and headed for the stairs. Seeing an open door marked 'no guests allowed', Roz had to investigate. The door led to a hallway which led under the stage into the pit and crawl space. Mainly used for ghosts, Roz noticed tiny paw marks in the dust on the floor. There was also the imprints of size nine pumps leading furhter back. She decided to follow the footprints.   
  
Niles was getting antcy. His precious Daphne had not yet returned. Frasier was beginning to wonder about Roz. He figured she met some executive and he was showing her his box seat. Figuratively as well as literally. Frasier knew he needn't worry. Roz could take care of herself. But Daphne was another story. While Roz is bold and brassy, Daphne is demure and refined. Niles and Frasier bothe knew they had to find Daphne...... and, hopefully, Roz.  
  
Eddie sniffed and poked his nose into a small crevace in the stage. "Did you find something, boy?" Daphne enquired. Eddie recoiled and moved on. Suddenly, he stopped right in his tracks. His ears stood on end. He was being followed. He could sense it. Daphne turned and looked down the darkened hallway. She heard footsteps. Eddie growled. This figure in the darkness was unfamiliar to him. He sensed danger. The figure emerged from the darkness. Eddie took off running in the direction of the hallway. Scurrying past the figure in the darkness, he left Daphne to fend for herself.   
  
Roz Doyle had been following this hallway for what seemed like forever. She could hear the actors on the stage above. Act 2 scene 2, the play carried on. The hallway seemed to be getting darker and darker. She could no longer see the tracks in the dust. Continuing forward, she came to a fork in the hallway. Confused by the task at hand, she stood there in silence. She was contemplating whether or not to continue. but Which way?   
  
"We must find my Daphne!" cried Niles. "After seven wasted years of pining, she is mine. i can't lose her now!"   
  
"Pull yourself together Niles!" Frasier exclaimed. "You're becoming hysterical!"  
  
"Hysterical?! Hysterical! I'll show you hysterical! We must consult the authorities! We need to organize a search party. You take the balcony, the box office, and the cat walks! Dad and I'll take the backstage and the orchestra pit. Leave no box seat unturned!" Niles listed.  
  
"Do you honestly think that'll work?" Frasier said sacastically.  
  
Niles did not even pick up on the sarcastic tone in his brother's voice. "We must do everything in our power to make sure my Daphne is returned to my side!" Frasier rolled his eyes. The brothers gathered their belongings and exited through the archway. Without even bothering to wake their sleeping father, the two psychiatrists made their way to the stairs.  
  
The darkness surrounding Roz was frighteningly strange. She was not accustomed to fear: especially fear of the dark. "What am i going to do?" she spoke aloud. Suddenly, a figure stirred in the dark distance. Roz froze. "Who's there?" She whispered. No answer. "Answer me, dammit!" She felt a short body press up against her leg. Roz jumped and began to run back the direction in which she had came. The figure followed her through the winding hallway. She ran faster. It was still there. Her only defense was to run. While running through the darkened hallway, Roz ran into wall after wall. Suddenly, an absolution! An exit sign appeared around a corner! She ran for it but the figure was still behind her.   
  
~TBC~   
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"the great theatre caper"  
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scene 3-  
  
Two men stood in the lobby of the Varsity Theatre. Frasier and Niles Crane were arguing, as usual. "Niles, calm down! We will find Daphne and Roz."  
  
"But what if we don't! What if I never see my beautiful English maiden again!" Niles cried to his older brother. A theatre security officer interupted the men.  
  
"Something I can help you gentlemen with?" the officer asked. "Did i hear you say someone is missing? A lady?"  
  
"Yes, sir. My girlfriend Daphne Moon has vanished." Niles pleaded.  
  
"As well as my friend Roz Doyle." Frasier included.  
  
"Any chance that they are together?"  
  
"I doubt it. One disappeared about an hour before the other." Niles said.  
  
"Any way to identify the women?"  
  
"Oh yes. My Daphne is about 5 feet 11.With the most beautiful hair and eyes that could pierce your soul."  
  
"Uh huh," the officer muttered. "And the other?"  
  
"She's about 5 feet 7. And very loud."  
  
"Niles!" Frasier yelled while glaring at his little brother.  
  
"I'll inform house security that there are two women missing," the officer said. The officer left the men alone and headed out the front door.   
  
"I'm going to search this place inside and out," Niles stated. "I don't care how long it takes; I will find her!"  
  
"Them," Frasier reminded.  
  
"Oh yes. 'Them'. I'm going to find 'them'." Niles said heroically. Then the brothers started towards the stairs. "Listen Frasier." Niles stopped.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you hear that?"  
  
"Hear what?"  
  
"Shhhh! Listen!" Niles quieted Frasier. "Behind that door! Do you think it could be Daphne?"  
  
"Perhaps," Frasier responded. Suddenly, the door flew open revealing a very shaken Roz. "Roz! Where have you been?!" Between pants and gasps for breath she managed to say, "there's something chasing me!" Then she fell into her Frasier's open arms.   
  
"Chasing you?" Niles frighteningly questioned. She nodded. He peered into the door. "I don't see anything."   
  
"I swear there was something there! It brushed up against my leg!"   
  
"Roz, this may be the an inappropriate time to ask this but, why were you in there?" Frasier enquired.  
  
"If you must know, I was meeting this guy. He wanted to show me the control room."  
  
"That's upstairs. You have to take the balcony to get to it. Why were you down here?" Frasier asked.  
  
"He told me he would leave the door open to find him. When i came by, this door was open." She explained. "And when i went in, there were fresh footprints in the dust. So i followed them. But then it just started getting really dark and there was this dead end at the end of a long hallway. At the end of the hall, there were two directions to go. I couldn't see the footprints anymore. I could barely see my hand in front of my face. Then, this figure in the darkness started towards me. I couldn't see it. I could only hear it nearing me. Then, i felt it against my leg. So i ran back the direction i came."   
  
Frasier said, "Well, you're safe now."  
  
"Why aren't you guys watching the play?" Roz questioned.  
  
"You haven't seen Daphne, have you?" Niles asked.  
  
"No, why?"  
  
"We haven't either." Frasier added. "That's why we ask."   
  
"Hold on!" Niles interupted. "Do you hear that?"  
  
"Not this again Niles," Frasier was annoyed.   
  
"Shhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!" Roz added. Frasier approached the door from which Roz had appeared. Peaking down the hallway, Frasier could see nothing. But he heard approaching footsteps. Frasier jumped back away from the door. "Watch out!" Suddenly, a the figure appeared and lunged toward Frasier tackling him to the floor.   
  
"EDDIE!!!!!!!" they all yelled. "What are you doing here?!!"   
  
"No wonder Dad wouldn't let us check his coat. Eddie was in it!" Niles exclaimed.   
  
"God Sherlock, you think?" Roz stammered. Eddie jumped to his feet and grabbed Niles' pant leg by the ankle. "Stop that!" Eddie tugged at the cuff pulling him toward the door. "Eddie, stop that! Those were tailor made in Milan!"   
  
"I think he's trying to tell us something." Frasier puzzled aloud.   
  
"You can't possibly believe that." Niles fought. "Eddie!!"   
  
"I think he's right, Niles," Roz included. Eddie had pulled Niles nearly through the doorway by this time. Niles had no choice but to give in to Eddie's urges. The foursome entered the darkened hallway. Roz was sticking close to Frasier. Eddie was leading but he still had Niles by the ankle. The hallway grew darker and darker. This was all too familiar to Roz, she complained the whole time. The group found the dead end. "Which way do we go?" Niles questioned.  
  
"I don't know. This is where i turned back," Roz thought aloud. "That's funny. There were footprints when i was in here earlier. Now, the floor is clean. Somebody else has been in here."  
  
"Roz and I will go left," Frasier declared. " You and Eddie go right. This old building has tons of exits hidden in the shadows. Find one and go get security if you find anything." With that the group separated. Frasier and Roz started left into the darkness. She had the death grip on his arm. "Roz, i can bearly feel my arm." This only caused her to squeeze tighter. They continued forward without speaking.  
  
Meanwhile, Eddie had led Niles to an unused portion of the stage. Niles could smell the scent of Daphne's designer perfume. She had been here. But how long ago? Eddie began to investigate the floor. He picked up a scent. The terrier began to follow a track on the floor. Niles followed the dog.   
  
~TBC~   
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"the great theatre caper"  
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tune in next time when we conclude this tale of mystery. Will the gang find Daphne? Will Daphne's vision become reality? Did someone actually die when the bear attacked Antigonus? guess you'll have to wait until next time! email me if you like this!! or if you don't or whatever....... catch you later!  
  
a href="http://mailto:skyy911_x@yahoo.com" Email Me /a  
  



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